So far all my blog posts are based on “why” and “how” aspects of infertility. But I have not dealt with the emotional angle associated with the problem of infertility.
As I have been creating blog posts for a long period I could really sense the stress and emotional trauma that couples undergo while battling with infertility.
In this blog post, I try to figure out the “top 10 painful emotions and how to re-frame your thought process” so that it not only alleviate your pain but also empower you beyond your imagination.
Here are the top 10 emotions that describe infertility:
1. Isolation:
When you know that couple after couple getting pregnant before you that includes your close friends, you feel ashamed. You feel a sense of isolation and cry as to why God denying the same blessing to you. You may feel excited when you see your close friend gets pregnant and yet you feel very sad about you.
Re-frame:
When you see a couple get pregnant first feel happy about them. And share your happiness with them and thank God for such blessings. It automatically makes you feel good as well. The more you feel good within your body the more chances of you getting pregnant multiply in the days to come. The law of attraction operates and you will receive blessings soon.
2. Invasion:
As you are aware that everyone who knows about you try to give advice and you may be overwhelmed with contradictory advises.
Some people are very curious to know what is going on in your mind and also what you’re doing to get pregnant (Check 10 Pregnancy Tips). You will feel the pain to share your personal problems.
Re-frame:
People, in general, are skeptical. You, therefore, avoid such situations and people to the possible extent. Keep your problem private and try to stay positive by yourself. You can be close with a few trusted friends who are very positive.
3. Stand still:
Your friends are checking the calendar and planning for a vacation. You also want to go on vacation and immediately you will remember that you are trying to get pregnant and that vacation may cause a problem. You stop your planning for a vacation.
You have to live a boring and dull life as you are deprived of your pleasantries. Leading such a life will cause stress and that will not do any good for you and your body.
Re-frame:
Don’t entertain too much fear for each and everything. It is okay to go for outings by taking precautionary measures. You have to understand that to get pregnant you have to live your life happily.
4. Loss of control:
You’re bombarded with multiple advices from different doctors. They intervene in every aspect of your personal life. Even “making love” depends on instructions given by them. You almost feel the loss of control. You think that you have no alternative but to follow their advice until you get pregnant.
Re-frame:
Keep control of yourself and don’t allow others to control you. After all, it is your desire and your life. At most, they can guide you and it is for you whether to follow the suggestion or not. You’re the deciding factor. Get educated. The Internet has provided ample opportunity for educating yourself. Make most of these resources so that you are empowered.
5. Embarrassed:
Going to the doctor and undergoing many tests in your battle against infertility might cause you a sense of embarrassment. It is because many modern treatments are so invasive.
Re-frame:
You have to realize that most of the modern treatments for infertility are meant for diagnostic purposes. Fertility is a natural process. It requires lifestyle changes so that fertility happens naturally. It is always desirable to go for natural remedies to get over the problem of infertility.
6. Unfair:
Your situation compels you to feel and believe that God is unfair towards you. At times you may actually be angry with God. Your pain compounds when you see other women getting a pregnant day in and day out.
Re-frame:
Treat your situation as an opportunity to go deeper into life. Infertility in majority cases is the result of an unhealthy modern lifestyle. It means this situation is a signal for you to get back to your healthy lifestyle. This situation also means thinking beyond you. Maybe you are here to do great things and impact people.
7. Stress:
You may be stressed out most of the time undergoing various treatments. Leading a stressful life is not at all conducive for fertility.
Re-frame:
You don’t need to try hard to get pregnant. Getting pregnancy is a natural process. The only requirement is that you have to make your body ready for fertility. That means you have to lead a stress-free and healthy life so that your body becomes ready for fertility.
8. Despair:
The cycle of hope and despair will haunt you all along your journey of battling infertility. Hope will give you good feelings and whereas despair gives you bad feelings. There is nothing wrong in having these opposite emotions as long as you are staying most of the time with the emotion of hope than despair.
Re-frame:
It is okay to get despair now and then. Experience the pain till you get back your hope and determination.
You have to realize that when you feel the despair you will know the pain and strive to go away from that zone in the direction of hope. So the despair causes you moving in the direction of hope and therefore be thankful for that experience also.
9. Confusion:
Every time you go for the treatment you have to take a decision, whether you go for that advice or not. Many questions come to your mind. Does this really improve the situation? Is it really can bring the change? So on and so forth. You get confused not exactly knowing what to do.
Re-frame:
Don’t be overwhelmed by multiple treatment options. If you can maintain your cool you can judge what is really useful for you and what is not useful. Take this opportunity to have control in decision-making. So you are the Judge and the doctors are mere lawyers.
10. Hopelessness:
In spite of your battle against infertility, sometimes you may feel hopelessness and this may lead to a sense of powerlessness.
Reframe:
Whatever the outcome no one can take your happiness from you. You’re the wonderful creation of the creator. Stay tuned to the state of happiness under any circumstances and miracles will happen in your life.
If you are battling with infertility, I know how painful it is. However, if you can re-frame your mind this becomes an opportunity for making a shift in your mind. You’re habituated to face the challenges in your life. You can embrace wonderful life skills that may change your life altogether.
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